First Time's a Charm

I had a chance about two months ago to attended one of the local strip clubs with some buddies but was tired at the time. Or chickenshit as some of my closer friends would attest, which would probably more accurate. But my friend Chris told me that within the next two weeks, I must come out with him to the titty bar with him and Jeremy. Well two months later, and after a viewing of the Dukes of Hazzard we made a night out of it.

We were getting into the Wet Spot around 11, and it was pretty much dead, with at most a dozen people there. In fact I'm sure I saw some hotel managers looking at prospective future dancers. We were at the end of one girl's dance and while we got refreshements, Chris asked if this was the last dance. The waitress, being ally of the hotel first than the patrons said, "maybe". Chris tried to validate the surity of another dancer coming on and let's just say I wasn't impressed so far, but at least I had friends to share the night with.

After Chris making fun of my not wanting to sit right up front, we did. Took about 10 minutes but a new girl came onto the stage, and Jeremy made a comment how she had legs up to her neck and could probably swallow you whole with them. So she started dancing, Chris spotted me 5 loonies for future use which I didn't know what the fuck to do with them. Being the new guy and stupid, I was almost tempted to toss the fucking dollars right onto the stage, doing my best to pelt the girl to get her attention; but I guess comedy isn't appropriate for this time.

Strangely to me, the girl was talkative. I guess there isn't much to do but talk and keep the patrons occupied when the club is so empty so she basically did a little circuit corner to corner chatting it up with the customers. I would imagine (due to my lack of knowledge of female anatomy) she was in good enough shape considering that she coud flex her pectorial muscles and cause her breasts to bounce, but once again due to my lack of knowledge I don't know how much in shape she is. Strangely enough she talked about how she's a Trekker. I asked what's the difference between her and a Trekkie which seemd to be that she's a fan of the shows, but doesn't go to conventions or cosplay.

Jeremy made a comment on whether she was a man or not in which she put her hand down her pants and said...no. I guess comedic timing is everything. One little problem in which she pointed out that some guy might have been using a camera phone to take her picture, she got back to work. As she got naked, she brought out her rolled up posters in which she could hold one poster each in the underside of her breast. And thus began the coin games. She went over to us first chatted with us in which I was learning the ropes onto how to properly toss a coin.

The first game so to speak was trying to knock one of the poster out from under her breast, which Jeremy properly failed in his attempt to show me how to do it properly. The second game, which lasted only as long as the first one (one coin toss) was to toss the coin into a funneled version of her poster....that of course was rigged as fuck considering she moved it. But finally enough of the bullshit later, we came to knocking the coin off her belly. Let's just say I was so inept in doing so, she gave me tips onto how to throw. Like a dart she said. A few attempts later, it was over.

After she entertained the other patrons, I Chris called her over for one more chance. However not to make it an entire waste, I asked her what show she liked the best. She went to go on about DS9 how it was her favorite series, in which I agreed. Of course this doesn't bode well because being the geekier of my friends, I should have the more lame vastness of Star Trek knowledge amongst them. I don't want to exactly come off as a yes-man to "assume" to know what she was talking about aka just agreeing with her just because she said.

I attempted to final attempts to knock the coin off her belly and to get a poster. Somewhere along the line she said she would give me a second chance because I look like Ensign Kim and said that her roommate had such a crush on Ensign Kim how she'd like to fuck him. However unbothered as I was, I still totally failed in knocking off that damn coin. I guess in a fit of pity, or some sort of way to get rid of the poster, she said if I could do the "Live long and prosper" symbol, I could get it. Without any complication I pull it off and boom shacka lacka, I get my poster. I then continue to chat it up and ask her what her favorite character from Star Trek is. She replied: "Well my favorite character, but I wouldn't fuck him though, is Garak." which again I had to agree because he was genuinely one of my favorite characters. Mainly because he was prentetious and a tailor. We then go on a bit on each of our favorite eps with him, she apparently liked the one where he's on a Cardassian ship and goes insane due to some chemical in the air. I particularly like the one whre Basir had to remove a device from his brain.

Chris and Jeremy asked him who'd she'd like to fuck, she said totally would be Q. Chris suggest Odo, but she said totally Q because he's omniscient, thus he could do anything. She could be the guy and he the girl and she could totally drill him. Or they could be lions and just go at it in the jungle. She also made some comment about Data potentially being like a giant vibrabtor.

As she left, Jeremy said she might sit on my lap and sign the poster. A few minutes later she did come out to sign my poster asking me who to make it out too. I emphasize that it's Stephen with a ph.


She went to to chat it up with the bartender, in which Chris told me to chat it up with her. He gives me a 20 in order to send me to get a round. I do get up to the bar, make my order and ask her if she wanted a drink. She said yes, and we both ended doing a shot of Baha something....a small pink girly drink as Chris pointed out later. Apparently when I returned to my seat she wanted mocked an attempt to grab my ass by laying her hand on her seat. I should mention that she was fucking tall...I mean 6'2" at least. But yes, I guess the best way that capped off the night as she left that she thanked me and gave me a small peck on the cheek. This made me realize what were the odds finding a stripper with knowledge about Star Trek let alone talking about it during her performance.